The Lighter Side: Take the "Are You a Connected Age Junkie?" Quiz

August 13th, 2013
Joe McGarvey, Director of Strategic Marketing, GENBAND

It doesn’t exactly require a certified social scientist to figure out that the confluence of ultra-high-speed broadband, highly functional intelligent portable devices, and the resulting rise of the Internet as the preferred delivery medium for entertainment and communications has profoundly impacted society.

Given the emphasis humans now place on near-ubiquitous access to other humans and digitized information, the moniker the “Connected Age” seems to appropriately capture the essence of the current zeitgeist.

Slapping a catchy label on a cultural movement, however, is the easy part.  Providing guidelines for successfully avoiding the potential pitfalls of full emersion into a relatively new lifestyle is something completely different.  So, for the welfare of the well-connected, GENBAND brings you the first Are you a Connected Age Junkie? quiz.

If you have experienced more than five of the following symptoms, consider yourself a junkie!

  1. You have participated in a video conference for which you groomed and dressed only from the waist up
  2. You are considering “Siri” as a potential name for one of your future offspring – Droid, if it’s a boy
  3. You have said aloud or to yourself “They should have an app for that” after completing any of the following tasks: attending a religious ceremony, having a surgical procedure or exiting the bathroom
  4. You have not made even the most trivial decision in the past six months without consulting “the Google Machine”
  5. You routinely text people who are within the distance of your voice or eyesight
  6. The second time you watched Sharknado you did so while simultaneously tweeting out your admiration for the special effects and acting
  7. You have uttered the three letters “L-O-L” instead of actually laughing or said “O-M-G” instead of “Oh, my God”
  8. You have made note of the most trivial details of the life of a person you have never actually met in person, such as “my cat just did the cutest thing,” or “I could really go for some Chinese takeout tonight”
  9. The highlight of your day was seeing how Google changed up the logo over its search engine to reflect a cultural milestone or event. If a discussion of that logo accounted for the “cultural events” discussion at your dinner table, count this one twice
  10. You alter and post your Facebook status so frequently that an accurate depiction of your real status would be “Updating my Facebook Status”
  11. You watched a feature-length movie on a 2-inch screen – “this is so cool!”
  12. You’ve tried to pick up a date by initiating a conversation about the mobile device he/she is using. If the words “data plan,” or “pixel density” figured into that conversation, count this one twice
  13. You have received an “enough already” notification from the NSA
  14. You have not cracked the spine of an actual book or picked up a physical magazine in the past six months. If you tried to turn the pages of that actual book or magazine by pressing a button or dragging your finger across the page, stop now before you get hurt
  15. You have replaced the annoying habit of using your fingers to form air quotes with the equally annoying habit of verbally framing phrases or words by saying hashtag